Todd Paris, Urban Survivalist and Attorney
♦ For over 25 years I have interviewed plenty of “bad guys” and watched a lot of court cases. That knowledge is distilled here:
1. Ladies Purses – lose them! If you shop with a debit or (can’t believe people still own these things) a credit card, slip it in your hip pocket and leave your purse in the car. The vast majority of young women don’t even use them anymore! Exception a carry concealed purse you will keep on your shoulder.
2. Location – I hate Wal-Mart. I won’t count the ways; however they have security cameras that make the NSA envious. The “element” is becoming aware. They also have mobile security there.
3. Parking – Park near and between other cars (except next to a van). The other vehicles provide obstacles to hide behind and cover and concealment from errant gunshots. Always remember almost all stores will provide a stock-boy to walk you to the car if you feel unsafe. Just ask!
4. Packages – Put them in the trunk while shopping. Much harder to break into than a window and out of sight–out of mind.
5. Car Alarms – Often ignored, but if you are returning to your car and see someone suspicious lurking nearby, hit the key fob alarm. Folks really up to no good will usually take off or at least saunter away.
6. Running-fu – The oldest self defense art. If a stranger approaches you in parking lot for any reason, just yell “leave me alone” and run back into the store and get a manager. If they actually need help, the store can summon police or EMS. Better to be considered crazy then end up in some dude’s crawlspace.
7. “Get in the Car, Lady!” Scream “No!” and run. Much better to be shot or stabbed in a parking lot where you can get medical help than back in his crawlspace.
8. Divided Attention – If someone is robbing you for your purse, toss it away from the store and run in the opposite direction back to the store. The same thing for your buggy of gifts. Thieves are usually drug addicts and want the cash or crack-able items much more than you.
9. Self Defense – Take the carry concealed course, get a CCW purse and learn how and when to use deadly force. Nothing kills the ardor of robber, mugger or rapist like a gaping chest wound. Anti-gun? Get a pepper spray key ring. It’s vegan!
10. Take a friend – Two or more shoppers together provide an extra witness and someone to get a tag number and run for help. Usually passed up.
11. That Little Voice – Anthropologists say we are all descended from that same lady who walked out of Africa a long, long time ago. She knew when the lions were nearby. If that little voice in your head says “danger,” heed it. Come back later or shop a different store.
12. Awareness – Keep your head up and scan your surroundings. Notice people’s faces and behavior. Predators look for folks with their heads down or who appear to be distracted or sheepish. Wolves vs. sheep. Heads up, be aware and appear to be a hard target! Don’t stay buried in your phone. Candy crush will always be there for you.
13. The Automobile – The deadliest weapon. If you have an attacker on foot and you are in the car you have thousands of times more force available then the most powerful handgun in the world. A crack-head stuck on your hood screaming his lungs out at 50 m.p.h. is no threat to anyone.
14. What to say? – If you end up shooting or running over an attacker and the police are there? Just say “I was in fear of death or serious bodily injury and I have nothing else to say till my lawyer gets here.” Call your lawyer. Most of my paying clients have my cell number.
Young Todd Starring in “Santa’s Death Wish”:
