•Steve Mensing, Editor
♦Politics frequently possesses a rough edge. However, the fellow most often listened to couches their honesty in respect. If we’re going to get our ideas across its much easier to connect with someone and not put them on the defensive if we act and speak with diplomacy.
Okay what is diplomacy? Showing sensitivity, tact, and skill in our dealings with others. Being polite. Paying attention and listening.
Here are some basic universals for practical everyday diplomacy:
• Numero uno: no name calling. Look its feels good to call someone a knucklehead or a liar, but it shutsdown conversations.
• Pay full, respectful, and patient attention. This is a cardinal rule for diplomacy. Without attention we gain no emotional connection. Being “elsewhere”, like texting when someone is talking, is impolite and makes short work of a conversation.
• Its wise to acknowledge most people are emotionally invested in their beliefs. Beliefs are rooted in emotion. They always feel right. Remember at one time people believed the sun orbited the earth; that concept felt right to them. What folks believe is naturally proven by their emotional feedback. All beliefs feel right and natural until a person goes through a period of doubt and dissonance while examining issues from a different perspective. Know that some people feel attacked if you disparage their beliefs. Move gingerly and diplomatically here.
• Understand that often folks over-identify with their beliefs. They are their beliefs, and their beliefs are part of their self-image. If you attack folks’ beliefs, they frequently feel like you are attacking them. This breaks down conversation and will turn on their defensiveness. Your audience now has become an entrenched advisary. You don’t want to reach this point. Few people own a healthy and well-developed sense of self. They take comments personally, dig in to fight off attacks and often attack themselves. Diplomacy and tact is the more effective road.
• Diplomacy killers: Rolling your eyes, shaking your head no, or making exasperated sounds because these end discussions Stay on the issues and never make an issue of the individual with whom you are having a discussion. Tact and diplomacy go far in keeping discussions alive and well.
• Avoid deception and falsehoods. Building trust is an important part of diplomacy.
• Let the other person speak and complete their thoughts. Avoid interrupting.
Being diplomatic doesn’t guarantee the other person will buy your ideas, but they are more liable to listen and will not feel bruised.
